We can all agree that Fox’s Tucker Carlson, once the bow-tie wearing conservative nanny goat who tangled with the far brighter Paul Begala on CNN’s Crossfire, and now licks the grimy soles of Trump’s Russian boots weeknights on Fox’s Tucker Carlson Tonight, is a soulless egomaniacal asspanda with micro-penis issues and a binder-bursting stock portfolio that sits where most individuals have a human, beating heart.
Earlier this week the coward that is Carlson sat comfortably behind the safety of a Rupert Murdoch-purchased Fox News desk, unchallenged by anyone in the world, and declared Illinois Senator Tammy Duckworth, a veteran of the Iraq War and an Army helicopter pilot who lost both her legs when her vehicle was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade, to be a “coward,” a “vandal,” a “moron,” and a “fraud.”
In taking issue with Duckworth’s comments on existing statues of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, in the larger context of the murder of George Floyd and the ongoing national protests on racial inequity, Carlson labeled Duckworth “a deeply silly and unimpressive person” who “[hates] America.”
Responding, Duckworth issued one sentence that told the world where Tucker Carlson could get off:
Senator Duckworth has served The United States with courage and dignity, as many of her ancestors have done before her. She has put her life in danger to protect the same American values that allow Trump remora like Carlson, Rush Limbaugh, and the repellent, shiny-lipped Laura Ingraham to freely indulge in the nightly character assassinations, conspiracy theories, and tail chasing flim-flam which generates for them fat paychecks and which even they, no doubt, don’t believe to be true.
By contrast, Tucker Carlson is not a veteran. He has never fought for his country anyplace other than an air-conditioned studio, in full make-up and hair, surrounded by producers, writers and underlings who are all more talented than he is, and who no doubt revile him gleefully at the after-show parties to which he is never invited.
Nor has Tucker Carlson ever been elected by a majority of Americans to protect and defend their interests on any public level. Tucker Carlson has never run for office.
Tucker Carlson has also been awarded zero Purple Hearts, which is one less than Senator Tammy Duckworth.
And in 2006, while Tammy Duckworth was serving the state of Illinois as its Director of Veteran Affairs, helping veterans address needs of education, mental health, housing, and employment, Carlson was competing on Dancing with the Stars, where he was eliminated in Week One after performing a Cha Cha Cha and earning twelve out of a possible thirty points, bested by the likes of Jerry Springer, Joey Lawrence, Mario Lopez, and an actress from High School Musical.
Tucker Carlson’s ratings are high, that cannot be argued. But like his predecessor, the once invincible and now disgraced Bill O’Reilly, Carlson will undoubtedly be undone by his own hubris, either by something he says, something he does (or may have already done, concealed via non-disclosure agreements), or simply because the majority of Americans who will begin to poke out their heads in a post-Trump, post-coronavirus 2021, will recall how important a functioning government is to their own well-being, and that the challenges elected officials face are not easy, assuming said elected officials are intelligent, rational, qualified, and don’t need to be propped up coast to coast by a low-IQ bullying windbag who talks fast out of a small wet hole in his face, but understands little, and would readily sell out all of America for a fat book deal, a good seat at Ivanka’s second wedding, or a guest shot on Last Man Standing.
In the end, Tucker Carlson will not be left a victor. He will not be admired by history as Senator Duckworth will be. Instead, Carlson will be inevitably abandoned by his shallow-minded followers when a shinier, more polished and better looking host comes their way to scream at top volume on behalf of their imaginary grievances.
Tucker Carlson has no real following. He has an audience of lazy, petty, racists who proudly proclaim their readiness to misunderstand basic truths, label all who oppose them un-American, and who ultimately hold allegiance to no one.
What Tucker Carlson fails to understand is that the very message he repeatedly pounds into the amoral fabric of these checker-heads – “Everyone is out to get you!” – is the very poison that will kill him off in the end.
No one watching Tucker Carlson is loyal to Tucker Carlson. They’re only loyal to hatred. Tucker Carlson is merely the dancing fool currently doing the milking.
More reading on Tucker Carlson:
Jon Stewart warned us 15 years ago that Tucker Carlson is ‘a dick’ and partisan hack – https://www.frontpagelive.com/2019/08/13/jon-stewart-warned-us-15-years-ago-that-tucker-carlson-is-a-dick-and-partisan-hack/
Tucker Carlson Calls Historian ‘Tiny Brain,’ ‘Moron’ in Expletive-Laden Leaked Video – https://variety.com/2019/tv/news/tucker-carlson-unaired-interview-1203144211/
Tucker Carlson and Shepard Smith Spent Two Whole Days Feuding Over Trump’s Ukraine Call – https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/09/fox-news-trump-ukraine-tucker-carlson-shepard-smith-feud.html
Tucker Carlson Is Hurting America Again – https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2018/06/tucker-carlson-is-hurting-america-again/563138/
Tucker Carlson on Dancing with the Stars. Pity poor Tom Bergeron: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRTYvygTArs